The Dragon Legend
The Dragon Legend
In The Sims 2: Bon Voyage, Sims visiting the Takemizu Village vacation
destination can learn the Dragon Legend, a 100% Historically Accurate
event from Ancient Takemize History. However, the story is only provided
in Simlish, and as such, the details of this gripping tale
are lost on the typical player.
Through years of painstaking research, bribes, threats, and
complete and utter balderdash, I have discovered the true meaning of the
Dragon Legend, and bring it to you, today.
The Dragon Legend: notovny Interperetation
Once there was an Insurance Agent who sold homeowner's insurance
policies to the Barbarian Community. One day, she noticed that the
barbarians were filing an unusual number of claims for fire damage,
which was risking her company's solvency.
Concerned, she sent a message by the Celestial Internet to the Claims
Adjustment Dragon, Sees Expensive Truths. Sees Expensive Truths
descended on the charred Barbarian Village in the night, and began an
extensive Arson investigation. However, the Barbarians had been clever,
and no evidence of foul play was discovered, so the company had to pay
the claim, which pleased the Barbarians, and they rebuilt their village
with the money.
However Barbarians were not good at money management, and they again
fell upon hard times due to betting on horse races. Unwilling to face
the wrath of organized crime, they attempted to light their village
afire again, for great policy payout. This time, the Claims Adjustment
Dragon was watching, and descended upon the barbarians like a divine
wind with flame and policy violation lectures.
The Barbarians were shamed, and begged the Insurance Agent on their
knees not to cancel their policy. "I must," she told them. "Insurance
Fraud is a violation of federal law, and we are going to ensure that
charges are pressed, unless restitution is made immediately."
The Barbarian leader threatened the Insurance Agent with a lawsuit
based on his Celestial Internet Research, but the Agent Smiled and
said, "Your knowledge of the law is faulty, and we will not yield to
your poorly worded demands."
The Company sued for restitution from the Barbarians, and was awarded
the Barbarian Village, which they turned into a lovely tourist resort.
The Agent kept her job, and spent the rest of her Vacation Days in the
former Barbarian Village.